The World At The Bar
by Kuro Shiro Kami Chan
Summary: This is a simulation if the world was a bar. Based on/Inspired by a joke from comedian Bret Ernst. This is a very random story to read for fun, but there is a bar fight!


**The World at the Bar**

**THIS IS MY FIRST FAN FICTION! WOO! This was inspired by a comedian named Bret Ernst… He has a joke called "America at the Club" that joke is so much funnier now that I know about Hetalia! So please enjoy and you can watch his jokes on the comedy central website…**

When America goes to the bar, he's the guy who can walk right in the door without a problem. If there's a bouncer, he'll tip the bouncer.

"Hey Israel get yourself some weapons!" He said, giving the country one-hundred dollars.

"America, everyone's pretty much in there, anyone else with you?" Israel asked.

"Hey America, are you forgetting about moi?" France asked, teasing America.

"Oh alright, I guess you can let France in too." America said, wanting to avoid France's speech from the times before ("America, we gave you the statue, non?")

France immediately rushed into the bar afterward. America walked in slowly, opening up his jacket to reveal a t-shirt with "The Party Don't Stop 'Til I Walk In" written on it in bright red, white and blue letters. He could see almost everyone he knew inside.

Denmark and Germany were at the bar, drinking beer after beer. Scotland and Ireland are bartending while doing that dance that Irish people and the lepricon people do. Sweden and Finland were sitting in the corner of the room, discussing their plans for Sweden's new IKEA locations… Again… Russia and China had been drinking a lot, both of them teasing a drunk Lithuania and Korea (respectively). Poland was dressed as a girl and trying to score free drinks from the other countries, but no one bothered to buy him anything.

China and Russia, after growing bored with teasing their friends confront America and try to pick a fight.

"Kolkolkol…" Russia laughed. "We're going to make him merge, right China?" Russia asks, looking down at the drunk Asian.

"AIYA!" He shouted in response. "Russia and I are going to beat you, aru!"

"You really think you can beat me?" America asked. "Sheesh, I can't go into a bar without you having to pick a fight." He rolled up his sleeves, signaling his allies to come over.

"This one's for America!" Mexico came out, wearing a sombrero and holding a beer. "VIVA MEXICO!" He shouted, knocking China down on the floor.

"Tally ho!" Britain shouted, using his umbrella as a make-shift sword to stab Russia's side.

"Kolkolkol…" Russia snapped the umbrella in half, lifting Britain off the floor and hurling him to a drunken Denmark and Germany.

"Watch it!" Germany shouted, drinking his beer before the fight suddenly stopped and someone came into the bar.

"Hey everyone." Canada came though the door. "I brought maple syrup!"

"Hey Canada, I'm staying at you're place, right?" Prussia rushed to Canada's with two beers in hand.

"Yeah, sure Prussia." After Canada was picked up bridal style, they left the bar. The fight continued.

"Canada needs to learn how to stay home…" America mumbled. "Hey wait, where'd France go?" Before finding France, America was forced onto the floor by a drunken Russia and China. After a few of the other countries dog-piled on America, Japan appeared, taking pictures.

"Hold it, break it up now!" Spain shouted, breaking up the fight.

America dusted off his clothes, catching Japan who was too drunk on sake to do anything but take pictures. "Thanks a lot Spain."

"Here's your bill." Spain said, making sure the other countries backed off and went to their own places in the bar.

America looked at the long receipt, calculating the numbers with his phone's calculator. "three-million, six-thousand and twenty-seven, three-hundred dollars and two cents?!"

"France left a tab. He said you'd cover him." Spain said, going back to the bar after seeing Ireland argue with Denmark.

"Crap, whose gonna help me cover this?!" America shouted.

Suddenly the Italy's (Venezio and Romano) came through the door with fat wallets in hand. "DON'T WORRY, I GOT IT!" They began searching for the thousand-dollar bills in the stacks of ones.

**I admit this story was rather random… I created Mexico's character… I'd describe him as a short little guy who likes Mariachi music and whose really strong although he doesn't look it. I also created a character named Puerto Rico, but she wasn't here… Time for some notes!**

**There's a New Prussia in Canada, google it**

**You'll understand the last part of the story if you see the joke I mentioned at the start**

**The Statue of Liberty was France's gift to America**


End file.
